It’s been a way too long since the hair has had an update.
I think I love the process of the change more than anything. I love picking out colors and mixing them up however I like, then generously applying them to each and every strand. Its a messy, creative, artistic process and I find it soothing. I also love waiting around for the final reveal and I love the challenge a new look brings. Sometimes the changes are good, sometimes they are bad but no matter what its always a new challenge. I have to think fresh about the clothes I wear and the makeup I apply, I have to be careful not to clash! I also have to learn to see myself in a new way.
This past year I have changed my look so many times the changes don’t even phase me anymore. I always feel like me, regardless of how I look and I love that. I used to struggle with self-acceptance and I used to struggle with the idea of changing my appearance. A new color used to mean weeks of depression and insecurity while I adjusted to the minor alteration. That doesn’t happen anymore. I’m always me. I don’t have those weeks of transitional emotions anymore. I can roll with the punches. When I decided at the beginning of the year to cut off all my hair I wanted to get to this emotional state, I wanted to be able to be detached and comfortable regardless of my looks and I’m proud to say I’m here now. Its been a long journey, sometimes I felt beautiful and other times I cried because I felt so ugly. Sometimes I have missed my long hair and other times I’ve thought I will never want it back. I have no idea what the future holds for my hair but I am happy to realize that my confidence is no longer based solely on my looks. This journey has helped me to accept all of my self-perceived flaws and now, even on my “ugly days” I am still happy and self-assured.